I’ve Lost It

Something happened over the last year or so that has caused me to lose my writing. I still think a lot and still have many things on my mind to share, but have lacked the mental ability to take all that and put it into cohesive writing. Some would call this writers block, but I’m not sure that’s an accurate description. There’s that whole “life happens” kind of thing that I hear a lot from people. But, life has always “happened” and other than bits and pieces of downtime I wouldn’t say the happenings in my world have stopped me.

I believe what has happened is that I have busied myself. Sure enough, there’s always something to do around here, but I’ve tried to busy myself elsewhere when that’s just not something that I can do effectively without it affecting my thoughts. I’ve tried to throw myself into just about everything that’s come my way. When I say throw myself in, that’s what I mean because, if you’ve followed my posts previous you’ll know, I am an all or nothing kind of woman. I really tried hard to “be” Spokane and to fit in here. Truth is, I don’t. It didn’t work and though I’ve met so many amazing people in the following year, this place isn’t for me. It is beautiful and I’m blessed to have been here and experienced it but I knew when I got here that this wasn’t our forever home.

Sure enough, God is leading us on to Peoria, IL. Lyle got a promotion (praise the Lord!) and things have moved fast. Next Tuesday morning we will roll out of here and head back east. I don’t necessary know that Peoria is our forever home, either. Perhaps there is no forever home for us until we get to heaven. Spokane taught me that it’s ok to put myself out there, even if no one bites. It taught me that the beauty that God puts before us is enough if we decide for it to be. Spokane showed me that even in a difficult year of ups and downs that God is good and grace abounds.

Here’s to hoping that my brain will start allowing me to write again!